I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she looked like the before picture.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
