Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
