New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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