I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Houston, we have a blender
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
