You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize