It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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