She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.