is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."