butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?