Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
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In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!