You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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