it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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