almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
