i can't believe i had my finger in that
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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