Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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