At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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