The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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