So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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