you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize