I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
