I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
