Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
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debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
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It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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