I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?