Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol

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(516): View more from New York

I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.

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(248): View more from Michigan

He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

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(906): View more from Michigan

Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?

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(647): View more from Ontario

you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'

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(315): View more from New York

2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.

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