EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now