Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize