they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
