Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is Oprah even human
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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