I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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