You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
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He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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