found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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