I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
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i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out