Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.