ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
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I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.