I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
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If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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