Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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