Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
