hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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