Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
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I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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