He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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