If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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