Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Couch. On fire.
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