none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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