So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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