Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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