I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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