By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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