How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
