That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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