susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
