Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize