Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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