I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize