i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize