I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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