Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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