just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
