Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend

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  (309): So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend http://tfl.nu/9ksw
  Replies (34) Good night (3788) Bad night (572)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.

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  (847): Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport? (1-847): It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok. http://tfl.nu/wou3
  Replies (30) Good night (4769) Bad night (1091)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.

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  (540): Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed. http://tfl.nu/420i
  Replies (19) Good night (1504) Bad night (3883)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

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  (816): Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful http://tfl.nu/oafq
  Replies (19) Good night (7327) Bad night (1021)
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  (626): View more from California

  he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??

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  (626): he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that?? http://tfl.nu/9sps
  Replies (26) Good night (1459) Bad night (5894)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.

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  (907): I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar. http://tfl.nu/wjyf
  Replies (8) Good night (3539) Bad night (951)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

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  (520): When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well. (1-520): Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand. http://tfl.nu/cdsz
  Replies (1) Good night (2013) Bad night (868)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.

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  (206): My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help. http://tfl.nu/31aq
  Replies (51) Good night (915) Bad night (10502)
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  (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

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  (818): She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas" http://tfl.nu/kk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4151) Bad night (790)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax

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  (630): This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax http://tfl.nu/k33t
  Replies (3) Good night (1468) Bad night (721)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.

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  (216): And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win. http://tfl.nu/kl48
  Replies (2) Good night (1413) Bad night (537)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.

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  (904): Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point. http://tfl.nu/899i
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (635)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am

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  (586): I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am http://tfl.nu/pvzw
  Replies (4) Good night (567) Bad night (213)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change

  (303): View more from Colorado

  well did he get it

  (602): View more from Arizona

  ....yes

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  (602): He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change (303): well did he get it (602): ....yes http://tfl.nu/fuxg
  Replies (0) Good night (675) Bad night (236)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.

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  (816): I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident. http://tfl.nu/95be
  Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (238)

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