Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.

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  (808): Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber. http://tfl.nu/bjtn
  Replies (24) Good night (995) Bad night (2418)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom

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  (617): Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.' (617): we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom http://tfl.nu/ju2m
  Replies (24) Good night (884) Bad night (2604)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed

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  (732): i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed http://tfl.nu/l1mh
  Replies (17) Good night (1090) Bad night (3503)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.

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  (716): I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom. http://tfl.nu/gtvn
  Replies (39) Good night (1100) Bad night (3899)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed

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  (303): He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed http://tfl.nu/muwj
  Replies (21) Good night (5093) Bad night (925)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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  (+64): I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer http://tfl.nu/8v2s
  Replies (14) Good night (1672) Bad night (3471)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

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  (919): Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/6akp
  Replies (4) Good night (6760) Bad night (1022)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I've ID'd the nipple biter.

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  (907): I've ID'd the nipple biter. http://tfl.nu/u45n
  Replies (6) Good night (2236) Bad night (1384)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's

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  (774): the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's http://tfl.nu/a401
  Replies (16) Good night (2293) Bad night (973)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

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  (312): That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison. http://tfl.nu/qs9j
  Replies (22) Good night (1505) Bad night (762)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...

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  (715): I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to... http://tfl.nu/6wxx
  Replies (8) Good night (550) Bad night (1365)
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  (562): View more from California

  Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.

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  (562): Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real. http://tfl.nu/tp53
  Replies (8) Good night (1910) Bad night (980)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY

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  (309): QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY http://tfl.nu/578t
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (204)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it

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  (519): but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it http://tfl.nu/i5c8
  Replies (0) Good night (566) Bad night (227)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned

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  (305): I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned http://tfl.nu/trme
  Replies (0) Good night (218) Bad night (481)

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