I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
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Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
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Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.