Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?