He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize